Sunday, November 10, 2019

Mother knows best

The other day at work  we had a guy come in and asked if we had any Vicks.  We asked what kind of Vicks and he said it's just called Vicks.  We grabbed him a jar of vapor rub and he said, This is it! and bought it.  I mentioned to my co-worker that it sounded like he had a cold and called his mom what would help and she told him to get some Vicks.  Later that afternoon another guy came in looking for Neosporin ointment, we showed him where to get it and when he was at the register I asked if he needed band-aids as well.  He assured me he had band-aids.  He burned his finger and called his mom and she told him to put some Neosporin on it.  They may think they're all grown up when they head to college, but they all still call on mom when they need help.  I get regular texts from WE asking for cooking advice.  He's turning into quite a chef. 

My band-aid add-on at the register is part of my mission to convince people they need to buy more stuff.  I don't push unneeded items on them, just suggest additional items to compliment what they're  already buying, a drink to go with their chips, etc.  My favorite is the pencils.  We've got this cup of cheap 25 cent pencils by the register and I'm determined I'm going to sell every single one of them.  Everyone who buys them always only grabs one pencil.  I just look at them intently and ask, is one going to be enough?  What if it breaks during class?  They always, without fail, buy at least one more, one guy even bought 3 more.  Afterwards I announce to my co-workers how many extra pencils I convinced someone to buy.  It's become a point of pride and they all think my customer manipulation skills are hilarious.  Everyone needs those little challenges at their job to help them get up in the morning and go to work.

Friday, November 8, 2019

Well, that messed me up something fierce

My bedside clock thought it was daylight savings last night and really screwed me up this morning.  My clock has this feature that makes it automatically change for daylight savings, but it didn't work last weekend.  I didn't think too much about it since it's an old clock I got for $2 at a thrift store and figured it just didn't work anymore, so I changed the clock myself and went on my merry way.  Until this morning.  I woke up at (what I thought was) 5:30 am this morning and couldn't fall back to sleep.  I also couldn't figure out why my neighborhood was so active so early in the morning.  I laid around in bed for awhile hoping to fall back to sleep. I must have dozed back off, then was woke up by hubs calling me (he's out of town) at (again, what I thought was) 6:50am.  I answered but was wondering, what the heck, dude?  Why would you call me so stinking early?  After talking to him, I got out of bed, ate breakfast, drank some coffee then opened my computer and wondered how it was 9 o'clock already and somehow time really flew and I"d better get in the shower.  That's when I went back into the bedroom and realized that my clock said it was only 8am.  I changed it to the right time and did some investigating.  The date was set wrong on the clock.  Since the date isn't displayed anywhere on the clock, there's no way I could have known that.  I went to change the date and when I put it to November 8, it automatically knew it was Friday.  How did it know that?  It doesn't have a year setting function that I could see.  There's some weird sorcery going on here, folks.

Sunday, November 3, 2019

Fall Back

I hate daylight savings, it gets me all out of wack.  But, on the plus side, we didn't go to church an hour early.  We never have.  The only time we forget about daylight savings is in the spring.  Twice we realized it when it was too late to get there on time.  One unforgettable time we didn't realize we were late until we actually walked in while they were singing the last hymn.  We got picked on a bit about that one, lemme tell ya.

After church we went to all you can eat Chinese buffet.  They sat us at a table, and we went and got our food.  After sitting down a few minutes, I kept getting wafts of smelly air whenever someone walked past.  Then I realized the guy sitting behind me smelled really gross.  Not b.o., but just like dirty, unwashed, hadn't taken a bath in months, homeless person kind of smelly.  I've got nothing against homeless people, there was a time in my life that my best friend was homeless (I am NOT making that up, his name was Chris and we had a blast together), but there's no reason to be a smelly homeless person.  Plus, I don't think this guy was homeless, just gross.  We quietly asked to be moved to a different table and our waitress totally knew why and apologized, though it wasn't like it was her fault, she wasn't even the one who put us at that table.  I noticed that the rest of the time they were there they didn't seat anyone else in the surrounding tables.  Do people honestly become so used to it that they don't know they smell really bad, or do they know and just don't care?  He was there with a woman, I don't know if she smelled too, my sense of self-preservation prevented me from sniffing in her general area.

Friday, November 1, 2019

That didn't work out as planned

The World Series ended very sadly.  That's all I'm saying about that.

Yesterday was Halloween, trick or treating was postponed in our town because of a ridiculous amount of snow.  Yes, snow.  Quite a bit of it.  In October.  Is this a foreshadowing of the winter to come?  This has got me really reconsidering my life choices. 

Not all my life choices are poorly thought out, however.  Yesterday I made a very wise purchase.  Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you, Kenny and Margaret:

You can't see it in the picture, but their heads are on springs and they bob around!  They're an awesome addition to my other living room decor.  I have Johan, the turquoise giraffe, Judy, the flower girl zombie doll who's riding on the back of Angus, the metal rooster and, of course, the rainbow unicorn head mounted on the wall.  I realized today that the unicorn doesn't have a name.  Then I realized that it's Heidi.  I don't name these objects, they name themselves, people.  Missing from the menagerie is Ben, the margarita drinking flamingo.  He's still down in Houston at the girl's house.  I think they've claimed him as their own and he won't be coming back home to me.  Spread your wings and fly little guy, see the world!  I left him in good hands.

Yesterday, after I got them home, I noticed that somewhere between me picking her up from the shelf in the thrift store and getting her home, Margaret lost her left eye.  I think it happened when her head bounced off while I was in the check-out line.  I'm debating whether or not I should find a replacement, or just let it be.  It kind of gives her that rogue, devil-may-care alley cat look that you just can't fake, it's gotta come naturally. 

Monday, October 28, 2019

Take it back, baby!!

Okay, it's time to confess.  I'm a baseball junkie.  I love me some Astros and they're doing awesome right now.  They're ahead 3-2 in the World Series and hopefully tomorrow night they get all trophied up. 

Ok, now that I've got that off my chest we can go on to other things. 

This morning my darling 3rd child was horribly traumatized by my husband.  It started with a simple text:  Dad, how much do I owe you?  The response?  "You owe me your life.  You're lucky I was horny that day and your mom's so hot."  To which, the horrified child replied:  Ew ew ew  I MEANT how much money do I owe you for the plane tickets to Houston and to make sure I never have to hear you say that ever again?

He's probably broken for life now.

At work today we were making up little candy bags as gifts/bribes for instructors to lure the into the bookstore and tell us what books they're requiring for the winter & spring terms so we can order them before the students start filing in looking for them.  We needed 37 bags and were supposed to put about a dozen pieces of candy in each bag.  Once we realized that we had WAY more candy than we were going to need, we got a little more selective in filling the bags, strategically keeping back the good candy for ourselves and placing the icky candy, like the Nerds and the dark chocolate, into the goody bags.  We're obviously not idiots.

⚾  GO 'STROS!!!! ⚾

Saturday, October 19, 2019

RIP Eddie

I think I mentioned a while ago that hubs brought  home a gecko in his luggage last time he came home from Hawaii.  We named him Eddie and let him wander around the house to his heart's content.  He was all over the place, we'd see him in the kitchen, bedroom closet, bathroom, everywhere.  Then we'd not see him for a day or two and he'd show up again someplace completely different.  Well, the other day he chose a bad spot to sit and chill and hubs accidentally stepped on him on his way out the door.  I found his lifeless body about an hour later.  So, there went our brief foray into having a roommate living with us.

In other exciting news, the Astros are doing pretty good in the playoffs.  GO 'STROS!!!  Hubs doesn't get my fascination with baseball, but will sit and watch the games with me like a trooper.  What a great guy.  He even puts up with me yelling at the screen in the vain attempt to make them hear me and accept my sage baseball advice or to change a really stupid call.  My grandma used to do that with the Green Bay Packers so I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  My other grandparents used to turn the Brewer game on the radio and sit out on their screen porch in the dark and quietly listen to the game, those are some of my greatest memories of them.  So between the Packers hollering grandma and the nightly Brewers games in the dark on the other side of the family, I am truly a product of my environment.  Last month I went to the Brewers home game when they were playing the Astros.  I wore my Astros jersey and had a great time.  Fortunately Wisconsin baseball fans aren't nasty to opposing teams fans, I've heard stories otherwise at other stadiums and other sports.  But here things were great and at the end of the game I even got high-fives from the Brewers fans sitting in front of us at the end of the game (the Astros won it in extra innings).  It was a great experience I was both proud to be an Astros fan, but also to be a Wisconsinite where people are so stinking nice.

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Can I still call her my baby?

My baby, my youngest angel, my final attempt at creating the perfect child turned 21 years old today. That's pretty freaking crazy if you ask me.  All my kids are full fledged, alcohol drinking able adults now.  And if that's not enough to make me feel my mortality, another one of the kiddos got engaged this weekend.  Yep, Angel #1 proposed to the woman of his dreams on Saturday and they're getting married next year.  I wonder if this is how it's going to be, a wedding every year until they're all married off, then the grand babies will start coming.  That's what happens when you have your kids all in a row like I did.  So I've got plans to be in Miami in December of next year.  :)  The cool thing is that it was my idea to tour Villa Vizcaya last weekend, the kids liked it so much they went back this weekend and that's where he popped the question.  So that's my contribution to the engagement, besides birthing the groom-to-be.

This weekend we went up to visit WE and his wife.  We went out to dinner with our friends/daughter-in-laws parents on Friday and Saturday night both, which is always a good time.  They're such great friends and I'm so glad that we're sort of shirt-tail related to each other through our kids.  I feel so fortunate that not only do I love my son's choice for a wife, but I love her family as well.  I don't know Angel #1's prospective mother-in-law real well yet, we've only met her a couple of times and her English is limited, but from what I DO know of her, she's an incredible women.  #1's fiance and her twin sister were only 2 months old when their father was killed. Her mother raised those two little girls along with their 2 older brothers by herself, after moving to the US.  Can you imagine moving to a foreign country, not knowing the language, with 4 little kids all by yourself?  Not only that, she did an incredibly awesome job in the raising of those kids and they're all college educated adults with successful careers and good lives.  How can you not admire someone like that.  Plus, she already considers my little boy her son and it makes me feel good that even though he lives so far away, he's got family nearby who care about him.  Everybody wins!