Saturday, June 6, 2015

is it wrong to say I love manipulating my kids?

Mother's day is kind of a non-thing when your kids live all over the country.  When other families are getting together for cookouts and stuff. I just kind of chill at home.  Not a big deal, I don't get into those holidays a whole lot, but they are a prime opportunity to do some kid manipulation.

It started when both boys called and started the phone call the same way:  "Happy mother's day, am I your favorite kid?"  Frankly, after that, can I really be blamed for what happened next?  I gave everyone the full 24 hour window to give me the accolades due to me as their mother, then on Monday, they all got a mass text titled "Mother's Day favorite kid scorecard" I listed off the 3 of the 4 kids who got a point for verbally wishing me happy mother's day ON THE DAY.  Then I listed off who got gifting points, 0 for each of the boys, 1 for Angel #2 for sending me a card and a whopping 2 1/2 for Angel #4 for flowers, candy and the half a point came from giving me a thank you card with the words thank you crossed out and happy mother's day written over it.  Then things got tricky.  I deducted one fairness point off #4's score because she still lives at home, making it easier to pony up with the gifts.  Angel #1 got his single point deducted because while he was on the phone with me, he told me he had to call me right back because he was at his friend Jesse's mom's house & he had to run in to give her the flowers he got her for Mother's Day.  Yes, he really did that!!  But he got a half point because while he was on speaker phone with me, his girlfriend chimed in to wish me a happy mother's day.  I gave them their point totals, Angel #4 the obvious winner and I told Angel #1 he was going to have to step up his game.  Shortly after I sent out their scorecards, I got an text from WE's girlfriend wishing me a happy belated mother's day.  I asked if he told her to do that so he could get more points and her response was ".....maybe."  After a few more texts & calls from the kids trying to get more points, I sent out a final text to them all:  "There will be no more Mother's Day points awarded after the actual day, the next holiday is Father's Day.  Good Luck and may the odds be ever in your favor."  Yes people, I Hunger Gamed my own kids.

School is out now, though you'd never really guess it was summer vacation since it's still kind of chilly outside.  I keep optimistically turning off the furnace, then having to turn it back on again when the house gets cold.  I did have the bedroom window open all night for two nights now, the first night there was a fire nearby and I had all kinds of firetrucks racing past with sirens blaring at 2am and the 2nd night the co-op decided to come at 6am and spray pesticide in the field across the road from my bedroom window.  There was a whole lot of rumbling and back-up beeping noises, not to mention the poison being shot into the air about 50 yards from my open window.  Fun and games, folks, fun and games.

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